Hit Myself Again.

Today I hit myself again
Nothing hurt, but something bled
Something made me wish i were dead
I remember it all
I cant forget
I remember every moment
It makes me retch

Saw in those eyes a love untold
Felt the hug and lost control
Turned around and bared my soul
Don't remember a silence ever so cold
It was about something i shouldn't have told
Back to square one
Hello ground zero
I'm back again hoping it will better tomorrow
Its something about silent men
Made me hit myself today again

Heard the words inside my head
Wished they were from his lips instead
I waited a second, a minute, an hour
Then realized, had lost what i was looking for
What is the height of torture
What is the depth of pain
Go ahead, ask me..
I felt it again.

It hurts to hear a silence so loud
It hurts to be alone in a crowd
It hurts to go on monotonously
Thinking of what a bitch life can be
It hurts to touch someone asleep
To know he is not yours to keep
It hurts to fall asleep in tears
It hurts to live through all your fears
It hurts to always hide behind a smile
When you cant forget, not even for awhile
But it hurts the most when you simply know
It sometimes best to just let go
Paradise lost, back to pain
Felt it all when i hit myself again.